Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

Your intentions for 2024?

Published 5 months ago • 2 min read

Christmas of 2021, as we emerged from the COVID blur, I decided to resurrect my long-dead social life. All my treasured girlfriends were overseas or tied up with their own families, and I didn't see them much.

So, I set an intention for 2022.

I like to begin each new year by starting down the road to a desirable destination rather than trodding down 'ground-hog' lane, getting nowhere fast, and wishing things were different.

You can't change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction. - Jim Rohn

I wanted new friends besides my husband: like-minded women in their 50s available to hang out and have a laugh with, 'cos let's face it, some things are just better with the girls.

I knew I'd keep getting the same results if I kept doing the same things. And even if I couldn't control the outcome, I could control my actions.

So, I made a plan and created a meetup group. I figured this was the quickest way to get to where I wanted to go and to the people I wanted to meet.

My first dinner, February 2022, three women turned up (including my friend who stayed for a drink), and two no-shows. It was a pleasant enough evening, but not easy. Hosting strangers over two hours as an introvert is taxing, and it was a long drive home in the dark I didn't enjoy.

I switched to coffee meetups for my next two meetups; less stressful, and more women showed up. I was still nervous, wishing I could leave and go home, but quitting wasn't an option as a host or for the future I desired.

I knew friendship was a long game requiring consistent action over time to yield results.

And whilst results aren't always visible, they're still accumulating. Ordinary moments compound over weeks and months into extraordinary results.

But most people can't do things consistently because they want instant gratification. They want to see the results right now. And I'm no exception. But that had got me nowhere.

So I went all in and committed to a plan - hosting two coffee meetups every weekend for three months over winter, driving 3 hours each day, rain or shine, even when I didn't feel like it, and coming home shattered each time.

By the end of 2022, I had personally met over 120 amazing women in their 50s with a social calendar bulging at the seams.

It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen.

That year, I reached my destination. And I had made it happen.

So, I'm setting another intention for 2024...

To commit once again to action, regardless of the outcome, to reap the reward personal growth and self-confidence bring, along with knowing that with each step I take, I'm on the path to where I want to be, no matter how long it takes.

And I'm excited!

What about you?​

What are your intentions for 2024? Are you looking to change things up, or are you happy with the status quo?

Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

Hey! I'm Janey Carr

...a friendship enthusiast helping single women in their 50s build real friendships for deeper connection, by sharing personal experience, curated expert advice, tips and thoughtful, no-fluff stories delivered to your inbox each week.

Read more from Friendship Made Easy in your 50s

I've been MIA the past few weeks in case you hadn't noticed. I decided to take a well-deserved two-week, guilt-free holiday 'cos I felt a little burned out. Then, the universe decided to enforce my resolve with two back-to-back head colds, which left me bedridden, doing nothing of any substance, wondering if I had COVID-19. (I didn't.) It was frustrating, but it offered a rare but much-needed rest. It took a while to adjust to being 'unplugged,' but I've developed a taste for it. It was so...

17 days ago • 1 min read

It's not that I didn't want to go. The spirit was willing, but the body wasn't feeling it. Even the chance of a cheap, last-minute ticket through a friend wasn't enough to move the needle. But I loathe regret. Judging by the tsunami of Facebook posts the next day, missing Pink in concert would have had me pink with envy. Overwhelmed by decision fatigue, I left it to fate... if the ticket sold on Trade Me, so be it; it wasn't meant to be. And with two hours to go until gates opened, it wasn't...

about 1 month ago • 1 min read

My energy was zapped as the days puffed into March. All attention was diverted to teenage woes in the home and the necessity of donning my oxygen mask first. As I crashed on the bed that swallowed me whole, feeling delirious from the 4.30 a.m. start to beat the traffic, my reality was stark. I was in desperate need of respite. Running away was not an option, so this was the next best thing. Allowing me to melt into the moment and do nothing else but "be" in a testosterone-free zone. And I...

about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Share this post